Behind Brown Eyes

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or deceased, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Overall cover design: Nicole Highland

  Cover model photo courtesy of:

  Shamim Nakhaei https://unsplash.com/@shamimnakhaei

  Copyright © 2018 Nicole Highland

  All rights reserved.

  www.nicolehighlandwrites.com

  Follow Nicole Highland on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook!

  ISBN: 978-1-64467-481-9 (eBook edition)

  ISBN: 978-1-71994-009-2 (Paperback edition)

  For my grandmother…

  If I listen closely,

  I can hear your piano music

  from heaven.

  PROLOGUE

  _______

  “What do you see?”

  Natalie’s voice brought me back from the trance I was in. We were doing what we had done almost every day that summer; we’d go for a swim, and then lie down on the dock to dry off, staring up above at the clouds. We’d watch the birds glide gently through the air, and before long, the warm summer air would leave us completely dry.

  We spent hours daydreaming that summer as we gazed up into the pale blue sky. The clouds were often wispy and fluffy, and we often bantered back and forth about the shapes they appeared to be.

  “Well, to be honest, that one looks to be in the shape of a heart,” I said.

  “Maybe it’s a sign,” she said wistfully.

  I looked over at her, and sure enough, she stared back at me with those big, beautiful blue eyes. The warmth of her smile said it all.

  “It may very well be,” I said playfully.

  I inched over a little closer to lightly kiss her perfect, full lips. I had never kissed anyone before Natalie, and after that first kiss, I knew I would never feel that magic with anyone else.

  Initially, I was drawn in by her radiance and beauty of course, but her soul was even more stunning than her outward appearance. She was, perhaps, the kindest person I’d ever known.

  “Do you think we will get married someday?”

  I could tell she was hesitant about asking, and for most guys, the mere question would send them running for the hills. But I wasn’t scared at all.

  I actually welcomed the question.

  I knew long before she’d ever asked that question that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. The only thing I’d ever wanted to change about her was her last name.

  “Of course we will. I can’t believe you would doubt me like that,” I said playfully.

  Natalie snuggled up against me, draping her arm across my chest, and I felt her exhale deeply, as though I made her feel completely at ease.

  I loved when she did that. I loved how comfortable she was around me, and how all her worries and troubles seemed to fade into the background when she was in my arms. And I couldn’t think of a better place for her to be.

  “So, the idea of that doesn’t scare you?” she asked, as though she needed to be completely sure I was being sincere with her.

  “No. It never has.”

  I leaned over and kissed the top of her head. My response obviously satisfied her, because she pulled herself even closer to me. I felt her delicate fingers lightly caress my chest, and my heartbeat intensified in response.

  “When do you think we should get married?” she asked, her voice hazy, almost dream-like.

  “Well, we will probably need to wait until we finish college.”

  “What if I don’t want to wait that long? What if we did it this summer?”

  Oh, Natalie, I thought. You never have any patience. God love her, it was one of the very few things about her that sometimes made me feel exasperated.

  “I guess there’s really nothing stopping us from doing that,” I said.

  “Do you think your aunt would be okay with it?”

  “I think as long as we are happy, she will be happy. She absolutely loves you. You know that.”

  “I know. I can’t help it. I am just super lovable, I guess,” she teased.

  “Yes. Yes, you are.”

  She leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. I am going to love waking up with her next to me every day, I thought.

  “We should tell her tonight,” she boldly declared.

  “Yes. We definitely should. We should go back up to the house and celebrate,” I said with a grin.

  “I’ll race you back,” Natalie teased.

  “With as clumsy as you can be at times, do you really think that’s a smart idea?” I joked.

  Natalie gave me a faux frown of disapproval; a frown that quickly faded as I took her by the hand and walked back to the house.

  The cool air conditioning greeted us as we walked back into the house. I could tell Natalie was cold, so I grabbed my sweatshirt that had been draped over one of the chairs at the table.

  “Here, now you won’t feel so cold,” I said as I wrapped the jacket around her shoulders.

  “Thanks, but I probably should get changed, anyway.”

  “You can do that in a little bit. I’m going to pour both of us a glass of wine.”

  Natalie sat down in one of the chairs at the table, and though I had my back turned to her, I felt her gaze on me.

  My aunt Christine generally had an array of various wines, and knowing how laid back she was, she probably wouldn’t mind if I opened one of the bottles.

  “For the future Mrs. Brandt,” I said as I handed her the glass.

  Natalie’s fingers brushed against mine as I handed her the glass, and a wave of heat came over me.

  “To a new chapter of our life,” I said as I raised my glass to hers.

  “To a new chapter and happily ever after,” she said, smiling all the while with the biggest grin on her face.

  Taking a large swig of the wine, Natalie made a peculiar face as she swallowed.

  “Something wrong?” I asked.

  “No, it’s just a little more tart than I’m used to drinking.”

  “I think you can handle it,” I said as I flashed her a smile.

  I could almost see her melt into a puddle when I smiled at her. Sometimes I would smile even more than necessary just to drive her crazy! She could never resist my smile; it was a weakness for her.

  “I’m going to go upstairs and get changed,” she said.

  Her footsteps lightly pitter-pattered on the wooden floor as she made her way to the staircase. But that wasn’t the only thing I noticed.

  As I watched her walk away, I couldn’t help but notice the hypnotic way she walked, and how her swimsuit molded to every curve of her tall, beautiful body. It wasn’t as though I hadn’t noticed her body before. But damn. She was so irresistible.

  I sat there for several minutes in the silence of the house, thinking about how much our lives would change. Forever. Forever was a very long time. I wasn’t afraid, but I worried that something would come between us, derailing the plans we’d made. Everything was perfect. Too perfect.

  I thought about everything I would need to do in the coming weeks. I needed to find a suitable ring for her; something as stunning as she was, but nothing too extravagant. Natalie was the epitome of understated beauty, and the ring needed to reflect that. I would also need to talk to her parents as well and receive their blessing. I was confident there wouldn’t be any problem there.

  Wonder what’s taking her so long to come back down here, I thought. Out of impatience, I decided to go upstairs.

  Glancing around the room, I noticed Natalie was nowhere to be found, so I knew she had to be in my bathroom.

  I plopped myself
down on my bed and pulled out my phone to check my email.

  She didn’t notice I was sitting there.

  “Jeez! You scared the crap outta me. I thought you were still downstairs!” she shrieked as she tried to cover her naked body.

  I couldn’t help laughing a little, at her sudden need for modesty. She feigned being annoyed at first, but then she laughed.

  She didn’t need to feel self-conscious. I loved everything about her, inside and out.

  “Well, I decided to come up here and find out what was taking so long,” I joked.

  “I was just checking out one of the freckles on my leg,” she said as she made her way over to the bed.

  “Which one? You have tons,” I teased.

  I pulled myself forward to sit on the edge of the bed and her cheeks flushed as I moved closer. She was self-conscious about her freckles, but I loved them. All of them.

  “This one,” she said as she pointed at one on her upper thigh.

  “It looks perfectly fine to me.”

  “But I don’t remember it being there before,” she said.

  “I’m pretty sure it was,” I said as I lightly grazed her leg.

  The light contact from my fingers touching her skin excited her, and she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling herself closer to me.

  I knew what would happen next.

  “Let me get the door,” I said as I gently pulled her arms from my neck.

  “Is your aunt going to be back soon?”

  “No. She won’t be home for another hour, but I’ll close it just in case. Don’t worry.”

  “Are you sure?” she asked, still not convinced.

  “Absolutely.”

  On instinct, I closed the door softly, even though I knew no one else was in the house.

  Every move after that was slow and methodical. I wanted to savor every moment I spent with her, and in her. I wanted to savor every last thing about her because I knew she was everything I needed so desperately in my life.

  CHAPTER 1

  _______

  I could’ve held her in my arms forever. Her soft, delicate skin felt warm against my bare chest. Moments like those were the ones that made me question if it was possible there was a heaven on Earth. I gently kissed the top of her head, and the light jasmine scent of her tousled curls filled my nose.

  The outside world may not have been perfect, but there in my bed, with the two of us lying there, it was.

  And I should’ve known it wouldn’t last.

  My phone rang on my nightstand, jolting both of us from the peaceful state we were in. I was a little surprised to see my aunt was calling.

  “Hi, honey, I just wanted to call you to share my good news!”

  Good news? I wonder what she’s talking about, I thought.

  “Oh, what’s the good news?”

  I really didn’t have a clue what she was referring to.

  “Do you remember when I mentioned to you that I may be getting transferred?”

  “Yeah. I do.”

  A pit in my stomach started to form. I had a feeling I knew where this was going.

  “Well, it’s happening! We’re going to be heading out of here in a few weeks! I know it’s going to take a little adjusting for both of us, but I think—”

  “What about Natalie? What about my life here with her?”

  The words flew out of my mouth. I couldn’t control my gut reaction, nor the way her so-called ‘good news’ made me feel.

  “I’m sure you two will figure something out. You can text each other every day. You won’t have to stop talking, you know?”

  Oh yes, because texting is exactly like seeing each other face to face.

  “That’s not even close to being the same.”

  Natalie got up from the bed and started getting dressed. She looked like she would explode at any minute. I’d never seen her like that.

  “Honey, I know she means a lot to you, and she’s a sweet girl and all, but you know I can’t pass up this opportunity. If I blow this off, I’m probably not going to get another shot at it.”

  I watched helplessly as Natalie grabbed her bag and headed for the doorway. I knew I needed to follow her. I couldn’t let her leave like this.

  “Look, can we talk about this more when you get home? I really need to go.”

  Hanging up the phone without saying so much as a goodbye to my aunt, I bolted down the stairs to run after Natalie.

  “Natalie, wait!”

  Exasperated, she stopped mid-step, then turned to look at me.

  “What?” she asked, her eyes already welling up with tears.

  “God, Natalie, please don’t do this,” I said as I pulled her into my arms.

  I felt her gasping for air as she sobbed into my shirt and feeling her limp body in my arms brought tears to my eyes. I blinked them away as best I could in a feeble attempt to appear strong for her. I didn’t want her to see me on the verge of a breakdown.

  “It doesn’t have to end like this,” I said softly into her hair.

  “But it is ending like this. We don’t have a choice.”

  “It won’t end like this. I promise. I will never let you go.”

  My voice wavered, exposing the raw pain I was in, and I prayed she didn’t notice. But she did.

  “You know it will end. I know you’re just saying all of this because you think it’s going to make me feel better, but nothing’s going to fix this.”

  “It doesn’t have to end,” I repeated.

  She said nothing, but I held in her in my arms for several minutes, wishing I could take the pain away.

  I knew I couldn’t change the situation. But I also knew I couldn’t bear to let her go.

  “Nothing will ever be the same,” she murmured into my shirt.

  “I know. But we have to at least try.”

  CHAPTER 2

  _______

  “Honey, would you pass the mashed potatoes to me?”

  My aunt’s unflappable voice startled me. I didn’t even realize the bowl was still sitting next to me until she pointed it out.

  “Sure,” I said flatly.

  I handed her the bowl, then rose from seat to toss my dishes in the sink. I’d only eaten half of the meal, and I chalked up my lack of appetite to all the stress I’d been under. I’d been in a fog ever since my aunt called me and told me the news, and it was a wonder I’d even made it out of bed. It was a struggle to get anything done.

  I trudged my way upstairs, pausing on the step where Natalie and I had shared an embrace a few days prior. I shook my head, trying to free myself from the memory of seeing the tears that filled her eyes.

  Exhausted, I flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. To say my head was lost in space would’ve been an understatement. My ability to focus on anything was terrible, to say the least.

  I didn’t like I how I felt. And I hated to see Natalie in pain. She deserved to be happy. She needed to be happy.

  Natalie and I were still talking, but everything felt different. Our relationship felt strained, and her usual jubilance had been replaced with distance and sadness.

  Four days after we’d learned about my aunt’s job transfer, the fog started to lift for Natalie and I. We decided we needed to make the best of the situation and try to enjoy our remaining days together.

  I lay there frozen for several minutes before my aunt appeared in the doorway.

  “Everything ok?”

  It seemed like such an asinine question, but I tried as best I could to not snap at her. I knew it wasn’t her fault.

  “Yeah. I guess.”

  She wasn’t buying it.

  “Is this about Natalie?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Have you tried talking to her about how you feel?”

  “I have. Several times. But she’s afraid a long-distance relationship won’t work. She’s afraid to try it.”

  “Well honey, it does take a lot of work. It’s not going to be easy. Fighting for what you want
is never easy, and anything worth having is worth fighting for.”

  “I’ll have to remember that,” I said dryly.

  “You’ll be okay. Besides, when you’re able to, you can always come back for her.”

  An awkward silence filled the room and after a few moments, she left. She knew I had nothing to say.

  At the time, I blamed her for the mess Natalie and I were in. My aunt had always been adamant that I focus on school, and while I knew my education was important, she would constantly tell me she didn’t want me to start working until after I finished high school.

  Now, her good intentions and my lack of money were biting me in the ass.

  I felt my phone vibrate on the bed and was slightly relieved when I saw I’d received a text from Natalie.

  Do you mind if I come over?

  Of course, I didn’t mind. I always wanted to be with her.

  Come on over. Would love to see you.

  Ten minutes later, Natalie arrived. I was surprised to see her smiling when I opened the door.

  “I have a surprise for you! Well, sorta.”

  “A surprise?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

  “Yep. And I think you’re going to love it,” she said with a grin.

  Once upstairs, she pulled a notebook from her purse. Flipping through the pages quickly, she stopped about halfway through the notebook and handed it to me.

  “It looks awesome. What’s it for?”

  “For you, duh. It’s a scorpion. You’re a Scorpio…get it?”

  “Yeah. It makes a lot more sense now. But I still don’t quite understand.”

  “You’ve been saying for a little while now that you want to get a tattoo. Well here’s your tattoo design. That way you’ll always have a part of me with you.”

  “I love that idea.”

  “So before you leave, you have to get that done.”

  “I think I can manage that,” I said as pulled her into my embrace.

  “We should go do it tonight. You know, before you chicken out,” she teased.

  “Who said anything about me chickening out?”

  Before she could respond, I lowered my mouth to hers, relishing her sweet taste. Her lips parted, and our tongues became entangled. You better stop, or you won’t be going anywhere this evening, I thought.